Positive Discipline – my key take-aways

One of the most stressful part of being a mom (for me), is paving the path to the right direction for my son. I always second guess myself, wondering if  I’m doing things right. What if I’m not doing a proper job and my son turns out to be a bully, a delinquent or worse, a criminal! Yes, I’m that paranoid. hahaha.

I know that for Liam to grow up into a decent man, I need to do my job to discpline him, starting at a young age. But then, that leaves me wondering, how should I discipline him? Should I use an iron fist to discipline ? But he might resent me for that. Should I be more lenient? But leniency may result to rebellion. And so on and so forth. 

Don’t get me wrong, I have indeed hit / smacked Liam a couple times before out of sheer desperation and exhaustion. But it always left me feeling bad, really bad that I’ll keep kissing him while he sleeps and wishing that I can take it all back. I also have a problem of detaching emotion. Usually when I hit him, I am already at my boiling point – which is a bad combination. Anything can go from bad to worse at the blink of an eye. So I’ve been thinking that handing out corporal punishment is not really my thing and I want to try another approach. 

So when n@wie / friend jenny (of chronicles of a nursing mom) posted in n@w about positive disciplining, it immediately got my attention. And I immediately signed up for the orientation / class when Jenny said that she is organizing one for nawies. Before going to the class, I downloaded and read the PDF version of the book. (You can download it here for free)

The 1-day orientation was designed and being facilitated by Save the Children. My key take-aways from the orientation are:

  • Positive discipline is based on children’s rights to healthy development, protection from violence and participation in their learning. It is the parents’, and the people around the child, to provide a healthy environment for him to develop to his potential. 
  • Physical punishment causes kids to develop higher verbal and physical aggression. It also causes children to close up and not share / talk to parents. 
  • Corporal punishment may be physical or verbal. I was surprised to learn that “time outs” or “face the wall” may be considered as corporal punishments!
  • Corporal punishment does not solve the problem. It might make your child stop what they are doing (which is what you want) but it doesn’t stop them from doing it again in the future. Or worse, they will just figure out how to do it without you finding out the next time!
  • The building blocks of positive discipline is built on: 1. identifying long term goals (what you want your child to become); 2. Provide warmth and structure; 3. Understanding how your child thinks or feels;  4.Problem solving.
  • Warmth is important – loving, holding, hugging, giving affirmations, these are basic things that you can do to provide “warmth” to your kids. 
  • Positive disciplining is neither permissive nor dictatorial. It’s about setting rules and limits that are acceptable to parent and child. Open communication is very important. It is important to listen to your child’s point of view as well. 
  • Children have their own temperaments. It is our responsibility as parents to understand our child’s temperament and set structure based on this. Basically, nothing is one size fits all. 

I have to admit, it’s not easy. I have a loooonggggg way to go before I can say I am successful at positive disciplining. 

the first in 14 months

dearest liam cedric,

i’ve been meaning to post more often but for some reason, i had a hard time thinking of where to start. there are just so many things i want to write to you and about you. i promise to catch up and blog as often as i can. i really NEED to write about your birthing story, our breastfeeding journey, your first year, before i completely forget.

it’s your 14th month today! time really flew by. you had a photo shoot last saturday and when i saw the proofs, that’s when it hit me – you’re not a baby anymore! i do miss those days when you were still little and i can carry you around the whole day. nowadays, we can hardly get any cuddle time with you. but it’s also fun seeing you strut and play.

the other day, we were playing when out of the blue, you took your cup and gave mr lion a drink. i nearly cried from joy! you’re pretend playing. oh my heart! you surprise us a lot these days.

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you are such an endearing child… you’re not as affectionate as i hope you’d be, but i guess that’s what makes every kiss and hug all the more special 🙂 there are days when i come home and you’d rush to the door and hug my legs or days where you’d ask me to follow you to your playroom so you can nurse (those are my favorite!) and then there are days when you completely IGNORE me! hahaha but i’m learning that we can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. i think you got that from me.

well son, i’m a bit rusty and my mind can’t seem to think what else to write, so i’ll stop here for now. :p

we love you liam. more and more each day.

love,

mom

birthing class with Rome Kanapi – highly recommended!

we just graduated from our birthing / lamaze class with Rome Kanapi last October 7.  and i must say it’s one of the best “investments” we made for this pregnancy. it was really fun and we learned a lot of things!

there were a total of 6 sessions (4 hours each session) which covered topics ranging from maternal anatomy & nutrition, prenatal stretching (which i loveeed), signs of labor, preparation of birth plan, breathing techniques, delivery of baby, breastfeeding and baby care.

i liked how the class was conducted. it was more of an “open forum” class where everyone can raise questions and share thoughts / knowledge but at the same time, there is a class outline being followed.

hubby is also happy with the class. his favorite was the last session which was on baby care 🙂 our baby will be the first baby that he’ll carry and just the thought of it scares him. but now i think he’s “ready” or so he says 😉

i highly recommend the class especially to first time parents. it really gave us a better idea on what to expect and possibly on how to deal with the pain (hopefully ill remember to apply what i learned in class when the time comes teehee). it’s also a good way to get your hubby involved with your pregnancy! it’ll make him appreciate you more, knowing the aches and pains that you are going through and will go through!

here’s hubby putting on lampin on the dummy baby 🙂

and here he is, carrying the baby – ready for breastfeeding lol

here are Rome’s details:

tel: 436-1757

mobile: 0917-5415114

email: romeinquiry@gmail.com

each class costs P4,600 which is good for two people.

well that’s all for now. hoping everybody is having a great day! 🙂

xo,

kendz

 

review: bioderma sensibio h20 (sensitive skin)

POST UPDATE (October 10, 2012): this is now available at digital traincase for only P1200!!! get yours now! only 36 bottles left (got 3 bottles for myself)

original blog posted on Feb 8, 2012:

last December when we went to Hong Kong, one of the things that i got was the bioderma sensibio h20 micelle solution. i have heard raves about this especially from makeup gurus in youtube – so i decided to give it a try.

what it is, is basically a makeup remover in a water based form.

here’s the product description from the BIODERMA website:

• At the cutting edge of innovation, BIODERMA has pioneered micellar solutions. Specially formulated for sensitive, normal to dry skins, the Sensibio H2O micelle solution gently cleanses face and eyes. It removes water-resistant make-up.
The micelles contained in its formula effectively micro-emulsify impurities while maintaining the skin’s balance (soap-free, physiological pH).
• Soothing and decongesting active ingredients prevent the feelings of irritation often caused by cleansing.
• Sensibio H2O guarantees excellent cutaneous and ocular tolerance (tested under ophthalmological supervision).

i’ve been using it since December and i must say that this is really one of THE best makeup removers around! i’ve tried all sorts of makeup removers (lancome, chanel, bobbi brown, kiehls, shu uemura) but this by far, is my favorite! HG product indeed.

why? first and foremost – it’s NOT oil based. i hate oil-based makeup removers because the oil tends to migrate to my eyes! oil based removers tend to have their perks – it gets the job done especially in removing waterproof makeup. but this BIODERMA sensibio h20 does exactly that! sans the oil. iiiii loooveeee it!!!!

i got 2 boxes of the 3pc set from watsons hong kong. the set came with 3 bottles in different sizes – a travel size, a 250ml and a 500ml. im sorry i forgot how much it is but i think it’s approximately P1500-P2000. sorry i really forgot to keep the tag.

here’s a road test of the product so you see exactly what i mean:

clean cotton wet with bioderma

crazy looking lady hahaha was trying out different eyeshadows last night 😛 i had on urban decay eyeshadow and mac blacktrack fluidline.

ze cotton after the “clean up”

the result. good eh? i just pressed the cotton on my eyelid and gently wiped my makeup away. this is just with one wiping!

what i like:

– it really really really removes even the toughest / most waterproof makeup

– a little goes a long way

– it doesnt leave any residue on my skin

– it doesnt make my skin feel dry / irritated. totally not harsh on the skin!

– no pulling of the skin required!!! you just need to gently wipe with a cotton to get the job done

– works on everything – eyes, face and lips

what i don’t like:

– not available in the philippines 😦

– the price is a bit steep but i think this bottle will last me at least 6 months!

mrskendz verdict: *****

truly one of the best makeup remover i have ever tried. i will definitely repurchase everytime i go to singapore or hong kong! will stock up on this for sure! 🙂

NOTD March 18

I went to dashing diva earlier to get my nails done (finally!)

I like dashing diva. Im amazed at the number of concoctions that they apply to the nails. Plus i love the fact that the tools they use are sterilized prior to every use! Fast service too! The only downside is, a lot of times, it’s fully booked. So your safest bet is to book in advance.

I opted to try one of the newest nail polish i got from rustans essences – deborah lippmann’s bad romance. And i must say i really really like it! I dont have anything quite like it.

I like the chunky glitters! So happy i got this color. Although a bit pricey 😦 will post an update on how long it lasts on my nails 🙂

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Hope everyone had a great weekend!

xo, kendz

review: NARS pure matte lipstick in Valparaiso

NARS’ description:

Pure Matte Lipsticks: Bright. Bold. Perfectly matte. This super-rich lipstick provides high-impact payoff: an ultra-pigmented, long-wearing formula that glides on effortlessly with comfortable wear.

Valparaiso: Rich raspberry

if you are a regular reader, you’d know that im obsessed with bold lip colors! 😀

i wasnt really planning to purchase this lipstick (because i seriously have too much lipsticks!!!) but when i tried it, i immediately said “yes!”

isn’t it preeetyyyy??? 🙂 i don’t think i own anything like it. the nearest i can think of is NARS funny face, but that’s more fuschia and this is a true raspberry color!

swatch:

here’s me wearing it:

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what i like:

– love the color! bold yet not too bright. really wearable. will suit most skin types

– i like the packaging. unlike most lipsticks, this comes in a tiny (thin) packaging that is perfect to carry around

– a true matte lipstick, if you’re a matte fan, you will definitely love this

– the lipstick has very tiny subtle silver specks in it which makes it look like it has a sheen when you put it on

– very opaque and long lasting

– color is build-able depending on your taste (sheer to opaque)

what i don’t like:

– tends to emphasize the lines and flakes in my lips. i dont have dry lips but i feel that i need to apply balm before applying this lipstick.

– expensive @ P1450 each 😦

– it’s limited edition. came out as part of the Spring 2012 collection

mrskendz verdict: ****

a bit conflicted… dont know if i want to give a 3 or 4 star rating… i admit im NOT a fan of matte lipsticks but i sooo love the color. but, for P1450, i think it’s a wee too expensive.

overall, i think because of the color, the opaque-ness and the longevity, i will give it a 4 star.

since this is really a “splurge”, i urge you to try it on at NARS counters prior to buying. but it really is truly a nice color 🙂

 

FOTD 24 feb

I just realized that i bought a number of items from @digitaltraincase over the past few weeks! Hehe im in makeup heaven right now 🙂

Aside from the nail polishes i got (refer to previous post), i also got my hands on the urban decay (UD) naked 2 palette!!!

Ive been playing with it the entire week, testing and trying to figure out if i like it as much as the original Naked palette… We’ll see… Ill post a full review next. But on top my head i can say that Naked 2 is more cool toned while the original is warmer. Also, as pretty as the colors are, i think the shadows in naked 2 are great as lid colors… But not for contouring / crease color.

Here’s my FOTD using the naked 2:

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Products used:
Koh den goh aqua foundation
Mac studio finish concealer in nw25
Mac mineralize skin finish natural
Mac espresso on brows
Mac blush in peachykeen
UD naked 2 (piston and blackout)
Mac cosmo lipstick
Mac viva glam VI lipglass